Your message
Edit the result in your mail client. Keep the order: the point first, the detail after.
Start the first line with "Subject:" to have the subject checked too.
Eight rules for messages that get acted on
The first line says what is wrong or what you need. Greetings and background come after, if at all.
Three questions get the easiest one answered. Lead with the one that matters and number the rest.
Reference, service and state, so a busy manager can triage it from the inbox without opening it.
A time with a time zone, and why that time. "Shortly" means something different to everyone who reads it.
A list of what you have already tried saves a round trip and tells the reader you have done the work.
No capitals, no "again", no "as I said". Heat makes people defend themselves instead of fixing the fault.
Own a mistake plainly and early, then move to the fix. Do not apologise for asking for help.
Then send it on time, even if the news is "no change". Silence is what makes people start ringing round.
Before you press send
Know what a good reply looks like before you write a word. If you cannot say it in one line, you are not ready to send it.
If you are angry or rattled, write it, leave it for ten minutes and read it again. Not every message needs an answer straight away.
Read it as someone who was not on the bridge call and has thirty other emails. Does the first line tell them what to do?
Bad news about someone's work, pay, or a mistake that hurt a client: pick up the phone, then confirm in writing.
The hard conversations are in the Kit
Pushing back on a risky change, telling your manager you caused an outage, the bridge call where everyone blames the network, and asking for a pay rise. Scripts, what not to say, and the follow-up email for each.